Florida is the only place where you spend $200 on pipe insulation, buy heaters you never used before, and still have a palm tree shivering in the corner of your yard like, “Is this how the Midwest feels?” People are layering up in shorts and flip-flops, checking the weather like it’s a full-blown apocalypse, and grocery stores are like a Black Friday of milk, bread, and bottled water because someone, somewhere, might see a frost advisory. Meanwhile, the local news is out there like, “We’ve got a